Author: purposejoyandpositives

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES is a blog created to promote thoughts and ideas about gaining clearer PURPOSE in our lives, JOY in who we are and what we do, and sustaining POSITIVES. We are all on the journey called 'life' which has many paths for each of us. Sometimes, the path is clearer with PURPOSE and more JOY filled than others. Often, there will be crossroads........again we must chose. May our choices be about a fulfilling PURPOSE, JOY in the simple and profound, and abundant POSITIVES to sustain us on the journey. PJP

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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PREPARING AND WAITING:

Today marks the first week of Advent for Christians and the Jewish Holiday Hanukkah starts tomorrow. During Advent, we prepare and wait for the coming of  Jesus on  Christmas Day.

For all important events in our lives, or those that we think are important, we plan, we create, we strategize, and prepare so that everything is relatively  perfect!

So, let us begin our time of preparation with thoughtfulness about how to make this period of waiting for Christmas meaningful, peaceful, and filled with JOY!

One way to think about preparing is to think about creating new traditions with our families or friends. My new tradition is reading a Christmas short story to my grandkids each day. I found a wonderful book on Amazon, 24  Christmas Stories to Welcome Jesus, various authors are the contributors. We are all enjoying this new tradition.

How will you prepare?

 

 

 

 

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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THANKSGIVING AND SEEING……

A couple of weeks ago the homily at our Mass was about ‘seeing’, really seeing others in our life. We often take those in our life for granted and fail to ‘really see’. It is so easy to overlook the myriad of things that our partner/spouse or family member does that  do not even come up on our radar because we are so busy watching for the things they do not do, according to our expectations.

That is the operative word I think….expectations! It certainly is important  to have realistic expectations of those in our lives,  for that is how they can be accountable to themselves and to us. Vice -versa, if we have unrealistic expectations of the important people in our lives, we will constantly be disappointed and fail to ‘see’ their good, setting ourselves up for a less than JOYful life.

As we celebrate this special day of giving thanks for family, friends,  and the many blessings bestowed upon us, let us take a moment to ‘see’ at a deeper level……to see the good in someone’s heart that perhaps we have overlooked; to see the value of those we may have neglected because we were too busy; to see the ways our friends support us, both in big and small matters, and to see ourselves and act accordingly in the true light of who we were made to be.

Wishing you Blessings and the gift of seeing.

 

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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SOOTHING CHOCOLATE!

Even at  8:00 in the morning, chocolate can pull me into its web! I LOVE CHOCOLATE!

At the end of my life, I am sure I won’t be saying “Oh, I should have eaten more chocolate”.  There will be other regrets I am sure because it is part of life….opportunities missed,  a little time wasted here and there, perhaps a friendship that has receded, activities or events that you were afraid to engage in, or perhaps lost moments with dear family members. Even though at the time, we may think we have good reason not to partake of a particular activity.

Perhaps, the goal is to start now, wherever you are in your life journey to ferret out what you really don’t want to miss and include those things that you ‘think’ you could or would never do. It isn’t about how all encompassing the item is, rather, it is about your heart to heart with yourself about wanting to be a part of it and why. What pulls you toward it? How will you feel once you have checked it off the conscious brain? Maybe, just maybe, you will want to engage in the activity again. Better yet, maybe it will open a new path on your journey. What have you got to lose? I say: nothing to lose and everything to gain.

“We do not get unlimited chances to have the things we want. Nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed our life”  quote from Marina Boteva: Marina’s Books.

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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FORGIVENESS:

Why should we forgive? Forgiveness is more about you than the other person. It is a conscious decision one makes to ‘let go of hurt’ and move on, but not necessarily forget (this depends on the severity of the action taken against you). Some studies have found that those who forgive “had less anger, less stress, less rumination and lowered reactivity in comparison to those who held onto their anger and pain” . Harris, A. H., Luskin, F.M., Benisovich, S.V., Standard, S., & Thoresen, C. (2001). Effects of Group Forgiveness Intervention on Perceived Stress, State and Trait, Anger, Symptoms of Stress, Self-Reported Health and Forgiveness. Journal of Clinical Psychology 62 (6), 715-733.

Forgiveness does not always involve an outward action toward the one who hurt you; sometimes the other person in the event is no longer here or is not accessible.  Rather, forgiveness might include a heartfelt conversation with yourself about your feelings of resentment/anger, a reflection on the specific experience, a willingness to mentally forgive the person and then sticking with that forgiveness and not slipping back into the hurt. This is not easy to do, especially for the big things that really wound us to the core. True forgiveness may take several attempts for the steps to be effective. Patience is a virtue in this instance for sure.

I think Dr. Allen Hunt, a nationally known author and speaker, says it quite well. “Forgiveness produces healing and a path forward. The key to forgiveness opens the door to a new future”, from his book Everybody Needs to Forgive Somebody.

Who do you need to forgive? Can you take a step forward today in the process so that you can begin the healing process?

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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BEAUTY:

The picture of this full moon doesn’t really convey the absolute beauty of the night, but the idea is there. I just had to stop, get out of the car and capture the image. My day had been a little off kilter, but seeing the beauty and magic of this moon capped my day with a  tender feeling that all was well.

Isn’t it funny how something so simple can do that for us? I wonder in any given day how many instances of beauty we miss? It is a lot like GRACE that I wrote about earlier…..we have to open our hearts and our minds to beauty and GRACE.

So, how do we get an ‘open heart and mind’ to see and feel these moments? I think it begins with a POSITIVE approach to life rather than being negative. This means we have to ‘ditch’ the old mantras of self-bashing and the recreating of unhealthy past scenarios. These two negatives will block one from being able to see, feel and fully experience the wonders of beauty and GRACE. For sure, other’s words and behaviors can be hurtful and sometimes we love to hang on to them. (How dare he/she talk to me like that!) However, this only serves to wound us and distort our thinking in negative ways.  Cognitive behaviorist’s suggest that we engage in consciously using positive mantras/remembrances each time the negatives we are holding pop up.

For me, another important approach to an open heart and mind is being grateful for what I have and accepting myself for who I am in this chapter. After all, I am still a work in progress! Being able to accept yourself for where you are and how you got there gives you ownership and blaming others will not be a part of who you are. Gratitude for what I have been given and not pining away for what my friend has, or I think he/she has, leaves one’s heart and mind space to see, feel and experience those moments of beauty and GRACE.  I spend a few moments every morning verbalizing what I am grateful for and asking for the GRACE to remain grateful.

This is one of my favorite quotes from Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God’s handwriting.”

At the end of your day, think about any moments of beauty you experienced and how it felt in your heart.

 

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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SEASONS CHANGE: ENCORE YEARS

Just as the change of seasons usher  in new temperatures, colors and general weather, so  also are the seasons of our lives. The season of youth is a time of great experimentation and learning, hopefully, gaining wisdom as we move toward adulthood. Adulthood brings its own challenges as we learn to navigate the world we live in without constant  supervision and guidance. We learn to make our own choices and suffer the consequences, be they positive or negative. Live and learn becomes the motto.

We have a season of career where we stretch ourselves to become the best that we can be, continue learning, and gain upward mobility, possibly recognition for our contributions. Most importantly one would hope to find a peace with their career choice and a true love of what they do each day. At the end of this season, we move into our retirement years, or as I like to call them, Encore Years. For me, it means that once again I stretch myself to learn new things, experience events  I have always wanted to do, learn more about the world through travel, grab as many moments as I can with family, and sit with my morning cup of tea.

For me, ‘sitting with the morning cup of tea’  includes prayer, meditation and reflection, thinking about living in this present day and letting tomorrow take care of itself. Sometimes present moment living is easier said than done and requires some contemplation and practice. I am still a work in progress on that one!

Here are some other things that show up for me in this new season of Encore Years:

  1. Breathing in the wonderful smells of nature as I do my slow walking.
  2. Chewing my food slowly to discern all the wonderful flavors.
  3. Taking in the gifts of my grandchildren in their smiles, hugs and their beings.
  4. Basking in sunshine any day I can for at least 20 minutes, even if it is cold out.
  5. Smiling at as many people as I can each day.
  6. Not cooking everyday, but when I do, relishing the recipe and the challenge.
  7. Being able to take days of ‘retreat’ to sort of disappear from life and drive to a new destination of a place  I have always wanted to visit.
  8. Reading a great book every night instead of preparing for work the next day.
  9. Changing how I dress from the corporate look to a casual, comfortable but sometimes elegant mode.
  10. Last but not least, counting my blessings daily and being grateful for each and every moment in the day.

“Change is one of God’s greatest gifts and most useful tools”  from Shauna Niequist, author.

Where are you in the season of change? What do you want to do next to enhance your current season?

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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GRACE:

There are several meanings of the word GRACE, one of which is ‘unmerited Divine assistance given to humans’ (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). It is freely given and filled with numerous blessings. It cannot be earned, stolen, nor is it based on our worthiness. GRACE …. just is simply GRACE with no attachments, surrounding us, waiting for us to be aware of GRACE, experience it, and use it.

I recently had lunch with a dear friend and we were talking about prayer and how we have developed our prayer life and changes we have added/deleted over time. She reminded me that we should include asking for GRACE in our daily prayers. As I pondered our conversation on the drive home, I realized that I have sort of been taking for granted that I am praying for GRACE automatically in my prayers, that  it is an all inclusive deal in prayer.  However, as I thought more about this, I realized I am wrong about that. I need to specifically ask for GRACE …….and so I started doing just that. It has been interesting to me to note that a few things have happened in the last couple of weeks that I believe were the direct result of the Lord answering my prayer for GRACE.

Our response to GRACE is to live our days here on earth showing GRACE to others with a sense of gratitude, generosity and kind gentleness with those we come in contact with. Our heart and soul can be filled with as much GRACE as we can be aware of. There is no limit. But we must indeed return it to others in our world and beyond in all ways.

“Life is measured in love and positive contributions and moments of grace” ( Carly Fiorina, American business woman and author).

Write down your moments of GRACE each day for five days and then review at the end of that time. I am sure you will find “Amazing Grace”.

 

PJP

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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NECESSARY, POSSIBLE AND IMPOSSIBLE:

Life certainly is full of all the ‘things’ we must do; things we would like to do; and things we think we will never be able to do. We need to streamline the ‘things’ in that order to help lift us up to creating the impossible, right?

I will use myself as an example of this idea. I set up a new schedule for myself to streamline my week. I do my necessary tasks on Monday for five hours. This includes cleaning, getting groceries, paying bills, watering plants, drugstore items and general errands. One day of the week is for my volunteer work; three hours per week for clients; one half day is for an art class; and two hours per week for yoga class.  The rest of the week is divided into half day slots for my possible…..watercolor painting and writing.

There was a time about 14 years ago that watercolor painting and golf were on the impossible list. (Golf is still moving toward positive possible…not there yet!) Watercolor painting  became possible through classes and practice, and now I would say that it is a necessary part of my life. I want to do it: I love it: I am pulled nearly everyday with the desire to head downstairs to the studio. The point is that by DOING it regularly, what I once thought was impossible, has moved from impossible, to possible and necessary.

Now on to my impossible: writing of the book and the journal article.  For several years, I have had two book outlines and researched material  in my head and information sitting on note pads, along with a journal article that has been only partially completed. Writing a blog used to also be in the impossible category until January of 2017.  I committed to  start writing, continued and now it is not only possible, but it is moving toward necessary for my personal fulfillment of the authorship goal. Point again is that by working and committing yourself to the impossible, you can make it not only possible for yourself, but also necessary for you to thrive. I must now start real work on my impossible category.

St. Francis of Assisi from The Book of Change: “First do what is necessary, then do what is possible and before long you will find yourself doing the impossible”.

Set aside some time today to write down your necessary, possible and impossible. Now make a plan to move the impossible to the possible category.

Have a great fall weekend!

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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VALUE OF OUR GIFTS……..

I often like to sit in beautiful gardens that I spot on my journeys and reflect. The one above happens to be in Door County, Wisconsin, one of my all time ‘perfect spots’ to spend some time, be it days or hours.

I have several grandchildren of various ages that love me unconditionally and bring great JOY and PURPOSE into my life. My idea of present and future is always filled with how I can teach them, share with them, and model for them values that I hold dear. Yes, of course they hear it from their parents, but a grandparent is a different entity. We hold a different type of weight with them than parents because we aren’t around everyday and are not involved in the daily trials and disciplines. (Thank you very much).

I recently read  an article published by Lorene Hanley Duquin  in Word Among Us entitled “What Makes Your Grandchild Special?”  The topic was about teaching your grandchildren to value and appreciate their different gifts and talents. At young ages, it is about helping them value  the gifts of sight, hearing, smell, speech and touch and how to use them to help each other and make the world a better place. The article also spoke about gifts that can turn out to be weaknesses if used inappropriately.  One example would be if a child has good athletic abilities and physical strength but uses this gift to ‘bully’ others.

For older children, Duquin talks about the gifts of knowledge for a desire to learn; the gift of wonder to help them appreciate the mysteries of life; the gift of judgement to help them know the difference between right and wrong; and the gift of understanding to help them ‘know’ what lies deep within.

As I read the article and reflected, it came to me that it probably is not just the children and grandchildren in our lives we need to share thoughts of valuing our gifts; perhaps there are adults in our lives that we should focus on their gifts to us rather than the negatives.

What special gifts do I have and am I using them to the best of my ability? What gifts can I share today with someone?

Duquin says:  “Gifts are like pieces of a puzzle. We can’t see the picture unless all the pieces fit together”. 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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ONCE AGAIN: LITERACY

As many of you know, literacy for  young children is a dear subject in my brain and heart. This week was Book Fair Week at my grandchildren’s school. All four of the grands  know, without a doubt, that  Nama will be purchasing one of the books on their list as a gift to them. A book is always a part of every occasion I can think of for each of them…….to build a lifetime appreciation of books and a love of reading.

Here are some interesting facts about literacy:

1) Young children  exposed to early language and literacy events have been found to be good readers. This includes not only books being read to them and pictures described, but also conversation, stories told and writing….maybe a note to Nama!

2) The first three years of school are the critical time for learning basic literacy skills…..oraientation to books, sound/letter knowledge, decoding skills, basic reading to answer literal comprehension questions.

3) If these skills are not mastered by the beginning of fourth grade, the child will most likely struggle with advanced informational reading required to be successful in school.

4) One in four (1 in 4) children in America grow up without learning to read at a basic level.

With our children being the HOPE of the future, it is only right and extremely important that we teach them to love books, reading, and support them in any challenges they have with literacy.

Dr. Seuss: “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”

By the way, when I present workshops  to different school entities about language and literacy, my presentation ALWAYS  begins with reading the Dr. Seuss book “Oh,  the Places You’ll Go” , which I relate to language, literacy and learning.

What are you reading this week? Do you have a TO READ list? Do you have a special  little someone in your life that you can gift a book to?