LONELY OR ALONE: YOU CAN CHOSE
In the last few months due to the pandemic, I am sure we have all experienced a little bit of both the above. We are alone much of the time as we social distance and at times this may induce the feeling of being lonely. During this time, it is so important to take good care of not only our physical, but also our emotional and spiritual health.
When things in life change so rapidly and so counter to the life we knew and understood how to navigate, it can be overwhelming. Yes, overwhelming to the point that we really have to work at lifting our spirits, even if we are by nature a positive, joy filled person. It is important to take those feelings, bless them for what they are (they are real), let them simmer in our minds, and then give way to a different place in our thinking/feeling. As with most feelings brought about by unwelcome changes, they will be temporary. Temporary can be defined on a time line differently by everyone. But we do make our own ‘temporary’. We get to chose.
As I have walked this journey in my own life, I know that I can still thank the Lord every morning and night for the gifts and the graces I have been given, have not lost, and wish to pass on to others. Maybe it is just a phone call, a long overdue handwritten note, a ‘hello’ text, the sending of a small gift or dropping something at a friend’s front door that I can do today. I have always found that when I do things for others, my own emotional being feels better.
May you chose to use your alone or lonely to lift someone else up, especially now during this unprecedented journey we all are living.
PERFECTIONISM …TO BE OR NOT TO BE, THAT IS THE QUESTION:
Multi-tasking and managing lots of ‘stuff’ in life…….schedules, time, commitments, family life happenings, money, bills, health and our work domain have become the norm. Yet, we Type A personalities try to multi-task while always striving for perfectionism; but in reality, long term perfectionism IS NOT POSSIBLE! We drive ourselves crazy trying to keep it all together and everything in perfect, absolute perfect order.
It is certainly good to be organized in life, but that does not mean we have to be perfect. Are there options to getting it all completed and not everything perfect? Yes, I think there is an option, but it lies not out there; it lies in our thought process. The process that starts out like: “you know self, this project can be done a little differently involving a little less time and still be perfectly acceptable. It can be GOOD ENOUGH!”
An option is not having an all or nothing mindset. There is a lot in between all and nothing, and that is where our change in mindset lies……..in between. Learning to find that happy delicate balance between ‘this is good enough’ and ‘this still has work to become perfect’ is a process in and of itself. One has to let go of doing it until it is just perfect. Honestly, most of the time, no one will ever know that we stopped three steps ahead of our ideal perfect. Because, guess what? It turned out great and everyone loved it. Our stubborn steadfast ideals of perfect keep us from celebrating the much needed little victories we have in life. I will be the first to admit, I have gotten much better at this ‘good enough’ thing in life as I have aged. Maybe it has to do with that I have realized I have only so much time and I want to make it count with lots of memories, not how long I spent perfecting something.
Anne Wilson Schaef, author of various meditation books, states it well: “Perfection is self-abuse of the highest order.”
Where do you fall on that continuum of all or nothing?