Author: purposejoyandpositives

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES is a blog created to promote thoughts and ideas about gaining clearer PURPOSE in our lives, JOY in who we are and what we do, and sustaining POSITIVES. We are all on the journey called 'life' which has many paths for each of us. Sometimes, the path is clearer with PURPOSE and more JOY filled than others. Often, there will be crossroads........again we must chose. May our choices be about a fulfilling PURPOSE, JOY in the simple and profound, and abundant POSITIVES to sustain us on the journey. PJP

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

purposejoyandpositivesLeave a comment

Having your cake and eating it too! What DOES that even mean?

It is an idiom or a figure of speech that suggests that you use all of something now; it is gone; and yet, you want to be able to have it in the future. But it is all gone!

So, you can’t use all your paycheck to go shopping this week, when you need that money to pay the bills next week. Can’t use all the PTO days at work this month because there might be an emergency and you could desperately need a PTO day in the future. It is so tempting to just do it all; forget about what you might need in the future. OH, this is going to take a lot of patience……..and then some more of that thing we call ‘self-discipline’.

So, I suggest just eating a slice or two of the cake, and then you WILL have some for later when you want it. And you will relish it even more perhaps later.

What is your CAKE that you want to have now and still more of in the future?

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

purposejoyandpositives1 Comment

Summer solstice has just passed and so we are now officially in the JOYous season of summer!

Along with summer comes picnics, swimming at the lake, trips to the beach, biking, beautiful flowering plants, vacationing and hopefully some rest and relaxation. Remember when you were a kid and your parents said “it’s time for a nap”? Now as adults, we may often wish there was some nap time. No one for sure is going to ‘give us permission to nap’, so we just need to give ourselves that permission.

Some  research  has reported that each of our brains does different things during rest mode. For example: some experience “inner seeing”; others noted emotions/feelings bubbling up; some report a greater sensory awareness; while others experienced ‘inner speech’. (Hurlburt, R.T., Alderson-Day B., Fernyhough, C. & Kuhn, S. 2015, Frontiers in Psychology, #6.)

What ever our brains do experience during rest can only happen IF we take that much needed rest. It is a rest away from TV, social media, movies, iPhones, running errands, cleaning, (YES) and all the other things that encompass our daily responsible lives. Even just a few minutes a day of true relaxation with eyes closed, not specifically thinking of anything, and some calm deep breathing in and out, can produce remarkable results in rejuvenation of body, spirit and mind.

I think that William Wadsworth said it well: “Rest and be thankful”.

Plan some rest time for yourself today and everyday.

 

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

purposejoyandpositivesLeave a comment

A lighthouse near the banks of the shore or at sea is the guiding light to bring ships to safe harbor, amidst rushing waters, reefs, or other dangers that are in the path of safety. Before lighthouses, our ancestors built fires high up on the hills to guide the ships, warning of dangers, guiding those at sea.

So it is with fathers or the important people in our lives whose role it is to be our father figure. Sometimes, they don’t show up when we are born, but may present themselves later in our lives, biological fathers or maybe not.  Sometimes, the going may be rough until that father figure appears. Sometimes, they may disappoint us deeply, but they are still our father. We may have to grow to the age of being able to forgive.

These figures are the guiding light to help us on our life path, to warn us of dangers, to show us a safer road, to help us avoid the pitfalls that could crush us, to hold us up when we fall. They can be our superhero’s one day and the next week the strictest person of discipline we have ever encountered. One day we may admire them as our role model and the next week we might wish we had our best friend’s father. Through it all, the one we call ‘father’ in our life is human and will make mistakes; yet, he means only the best for us and will go above and beyond to bring PURPOSE, JOY and POSITIVES into our lives. He is only a man, with his own limitations and skills. And sometimes, it takes us a long long time before we can acknowledge his  role in our lives……maybe not until one day when we become a father.

To each of you who are fathers, father figures, step fathers, grandfathers, foster fathers: May you have a wonderful day of celebrating you, counting your blessings and knowing that you are appreciated and loved. As a father, you may never know how many children you influence, just by your actions and your commitments. You may never know how many lives you touch.

This quote reflects my father. “My father didn’t tell me how to live: he lived, and let me watch him do it”  (Clarence B. Kelland).

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

purposejoyandpositivesLeave a comment

Interesting Road Sign! Made me stop and think about what humility is and is not….. and if I am humble in life.

Fulton Sheen in “Finding True Happiness” said: “Humility is the pathway to knowledge.” As I thought more about this quote, I interpreted it to mean that if we are not all filled up with ourselves and our worldly possessions, we have open spaces in our hearts and minds to take in the things that are really important about life, leading to true knowing.

The Latin meaning of humility literally means low. Examples could be  putting others before yourself; remembering to think of others each day and what they might need; not drawing undue attention to oneself; and maybe even not having to be right. Ohhhhhh, the last one is interesting because we all WANT to be right, sometimes even at the expense of another’s feelings. Someone very wise once told me that the words ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ have no place in relationships. Funny, when you take those words out of your conversations, attitudes shift. Humility has a place to come into your heart. It would seem that having true humility leads to greater contentment with oneself and greater JOY in life.

“Pride is concerned with who is right: humility is concerned with what is right” (Ezra T. Benson).

Have you assessed your humility quotient?

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

purposejoyandpositivesLeave a comment

One Summer : America 1927 written by Bill Bryson is a  book that highlights all the great happenings of the infamous summer 1927, including Babe Ruth’s rise to fame with 60 home runs, the decisions of Wall Street policy makers that became the fore runner of the 1929 crash, Charles Lindbergh’s flight in a cloth-covered plane (yes) from Paris to New York, television was introduced to the American public, and Henry Ford stopped making the MODEL T. The book also brings in many other savory characters, such as Al Capone and Dorothy Parker, making for a very interesting read. Makes you wonder if there was ever another summer to compare!

Reading the book brought to mind some of my own favorite happenings during summer. Growing up in a small rural town on a farm in central Illinois, the happenings do not equate with those in One Summer: America 1927 and yet those summers are like a movie that replay in my brain bringing me JOY! Summers included riding our horses, going with the family to participate in local parades as dressed up pioneers to ride in the Conestoga wagon my Dad had rigged up,  a Sunday swim in a small man-made lake, picking cherries from our trees in the corner of our front yard, waiting for the mailman each day by the gate at 10:05 AM because he gave us each a piece of Dentyne gum, trips to the local A & W root beer stand (where I eventually had my first job at 15) and helping mom and the neighbor ladies prepare the food on the days the local farmers came to help Dad with our crop of hay (and of course that meant the boys from town would be coming out to work on the farm that day….whoo hoo!). Even though we did not own our farm and had to work the land to live there, times were good and those summer days are close to the most favorite times of my life.

“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.” (F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby)

What was your favorite summer and what memories do you have?

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

purposejoyandpositivesLeave a comment

Last Days of School:

With this holiday weekend of Memorial Day approaching, it signals that the last days of school for this year have just happened or will be happening in a few days….a week at the most. So, students that means no more reading, writing, listening, tests or homework! Really??  Well, maybe we shouldn’t throw all of the above out for the eight weeks of summer.

I would venture to say that reading and writing are the two most important areas that should not be put up on a shelf during the summer. This is true for all students, not just those who were getting some extra help during the school year. In fact, many reading specialists who have researched this topic clearly point out that children who do not read during the summer can lose several months of reading and academic progress. So, here are some ideas for your kids or grandkids to put in to practice this summer to lessen the opportunity to lose reading skills.

  • Make going to the library a weekly excursion.
  • Make a list together with your child about topics and books they would like to read during the summer.
  • Let the child pick some of his own books when guided to the area of the right reading level.
  • Read to your child every single day, even if it is only for 15 minutes.
  • Have many variations of print in your home….books, magazines, maps, pamphlets, coupons, grocery lists, written letters,  etc.
  • Have set times when the adults and the children in the house read on their own for short periods of time. Even small children can have their own bookshelf with picture books they look at during this quiet time.
  • After quiet reading, each family member shares two things they learned from their book. (All answers as long as on topic can be correct).
  • If the child has written language skills, let them write the grocery list (phonetic spelling is fine here) or write the notes to other family members regarding their whereabouts and when the return time is.
  • Search on-line for some sites that have free download books that can be read on the iPad (not all reading should be this way).
  • Get out the paints or crayons and have the children make book marks for themselves and each family member.
  • As a grandparent, I always give a book for every occasion I can think of in the child’s life.

These are just a few ideas to encourage the LOVE and JOY of reading in children. If a child does not learn to like and come to love books and reading, they will not promote it for themselves as  adults, or model it in their own homes one day.

Remember: “You cannot open a book without learning something” (Confucius)

 

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

purposejoyandpositivesLeave a comment

What is WEALTH anyway?

Looking at the picture of Vegas from a few years ago, one might think wealth resides in the glitz, glamour and the allure of ‘winning big’. However, as we all know, Vegas is just for fun sometimes and most of us either break even, win or lose a few dollars, and not much more.

Some define wealth as having a fantabulous home, being able to take extended vacations, or a healthy bottom line in the bank. And there is nothing wrong with aspiring to attain these things. Maybe at some point we have been pretty ill or suffered an accident, and we come to understand that wealth  truly is having good health and being able to physically do the things we desire. As we age and we see our children grown into adults or feel those little loving arms of a grandchild around us, we know that this is pure JOY and wealth in our lives. Most probably wealth has different meanings for each of us during different phases of our lives.

Today, I opened my computer and this quote was the first thing I saw. Truly, I read it several times before it sank in, and now I am reflecting on it for myself. I encourage you to do the same.

“Wealth is a measure of our well-being, most accurately measured in the quality of the human capital and relationships, and the hope and expectations of those relationships.” (Frank J. Hanna,  from  A Graduate’s Guide to Life as noted on Dynamic Catholic.com)

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

purposejoyandpositivesLeave a comment

Hello all,

I had to be off-line for the last few weeks due to a family emergency. I do apologize for any inconvenience. So, we will continue on where we left off talking about Aubrey Drake Graham’s quote:“Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, speak without offending.” 

The first two sections of the quote we have covered, so let’s start today with “listen without defending”.  Many times in our lives we probably do not listen actively or with our hearts. Certainly, we do hear the words, but words do several  things after going into our ears. They may just float around in our head along with all the other non-essential things, not really stopping to land; they may trigger previous conversations about the topic at hand, bringing up emotions; or they may initiate the defense mechanism which results in vindicating our position on the topic…..justifying why it isn’t so. So, yes we listened, but not with our hearts. We were too busy preparing our defense to really ‘hear’ the message. How much simpler would it be to listen consciously to what is being said, and not feel that we had to defend. We never need to defend who we are; we are valuable and worthy.

The last phrase of this quote speak without offending is probably one of biggest challenges of life. Do you know why? I believe it is because we all want to be right…….right about our opinions, our actions and even about our plans. Most of the time, we don’t really try to offend; but in haste, we may say things that we don’t really mean or just blurt out our unfiltered thoughts. Remember that old saying your parents probably said at least 100 times…..if you can’t say anything nice to your sister/brother, then don’t say anything at all. I think that is still good advice as adults. Perhaps a good way to think about what we say is to ask ourselves:

  • Are my words necessary?
  • Will my words uplift?
  • Are my words kind?
  • Are  my words truthful?

Even though there is that old saying : Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. Truth be known: words can hurt, and once said, they can never be taken back.

 

How can you change your listening and speaking to be more POSITIVE and bring more JOY to others?

 

 

 

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

purposejoyandpositivesLeave a comment

Aubrey Drake Graham, singer/producer, is credited with this quote:

“Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, speak without offending.” After contemplating on the Four Agreements the last couple of weeks, this seems like an appropriate follow-up to share.

Isn’t it hard work to pretend you are someone you really authentically are not? It requires energy, time, and fruitless effort. You can’t just be; you have to think and plan out HOW you are going to be. Acting……. but life is not being in a play: of course, if you have a lot of drama going on, it might feel like a play…..someone else’s perhaps. One’s best bet is to be real….real about how you present yourself to the world. The ‘real you’ , not the one you imagine, is great, more than great and is valued by others. So, let the real you come forth.

I think the next line about loving without depending is all about balancing. In any good relationship, there has to be some depending. For example, we may depend on our partner/friend to keep our trusted agreements for the relationship or to assist us with household ‘stuff’ (so it all gets done, right?).  Depending becomes an issue when it begins to immobilize one in their own arena of life; there is an overwhelming unhealthy dependence to the point that one no longer has control of his/her life. Dependence often comes with neediness. Independence, on the other hand, is healthy and necessary  for balance in the relationship, even the relationship with one’s inner self. (You trust that you can do what ever it takes.) Independence means that one can function in life without ‘having to have’ the approval to act. Independence means that one has JOY and PURPOSE in life that is not dependent on another’s  words or actions. This comes from independently developing one’s own personal values, activities,  and follow through with right action. Too much independence, to the exclusion of consideration for what the other person wants and needs, becomes an issue, much as too much dependence does. Thus, the healthy balancing act between the two. Each person can then interact without sacrificing their personal beliefs and values.

Next time we will talk about the last four lines regarding  listening and speaking.

Where are you on the dependence/independence continuum?

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

purposejoyandpositives1 Comment

Fourth/Final Agreement: Always Do Your Best

At last, we have reached  the fourth and final agreement from Don Miguel Ruiz’s Book, “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, a Toltec Wisdom Book” : Always Do Your Best.

Of course, one would think this is consistently going to be what you strive for in work, relationships, or for that matter, in whatever you are involved with in this life. If we are honest though, sometimes, other things can get in the way of putting forth your best. Maybe it is a tough day; maybe you are not feeling so great; maybe ‘old stuff’ bubbles to the surface and it is hard to get to best for the day. When those days happen, I think it is important to tell ourselves that THIS IS  our best for today, given the situation with which we have to work. Negative self talk just won’t help.

We need  to remember that ‘our best’ can look and feel different from day-to-day, month to month or even in different phases of our life. Best can have various definitions for each of us in any given situation. That is life: that is how it works, like it or not. This too is okay, more than okay. In fact, if we are doing our best in life, then it would seem that best should show up differently as we grow, develop and move forward in life.

Don Miguel Ruiz says: ” Doing your best, you are going to live your life intensely. You are going to be productive, you are going to be good to yourself, because you will be giving yourself to your family, to your community, to everything.”

For me, this spells PURPOSE, JOY and POSITIVES in my life.

How do you define ‘your best’ in the main areas of your life?