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PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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“You are unique, you are precious, you are blessed, and you are loved.”  (Danielle Bean from You’re Worth It).

Being loved means that you are special; you are accepted for who you are, even with flaws; and that you are worth whatever sacrifices the other has to make for you.  Nothing is too big or too small or too difficult to make the effort for those we love.  This applies to family, friends and partners. Love then involves action.

Actions can include but are not limited to: expressing affection, concern for, compassion, shared activities, exchange of honesty, and aspiring for the other’ s best interests.  It is a conscious choice we make every day to do these things for and with those we love.  We often must rise above our own self interests at times in any given moment. That of course does not mean that we lose ourselves in the transaction, but when needed, being able to put the other first. And sometimes, it means in moments of hurt, we have to reach out to show that love. Love does bring JOY and fulfillment and for  best results, it has to be reciprocated.

What actions did you take this week to show love?

 

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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YES……..THAT IS A TURTLE COOKIE!

Sometimes we go slow and sometimes we have to remind ourselves to go ‘slower’, to reach out to others, to step out of ourselves and to be more kind and generous! It is the little things that we make daily choices about that make the biggest difference in our lives. When we were younger, I think we were sold a bill of goods when we thought it was only BIG decisions that made the difference. Of course the big decisions do shape our lives for sure; however, it is only as we mature and reach some ripe age of _______ that we may begin to realize that it is the consistent choices we make every day that are the ‘counters’. (Word stolen from PJP). The best choices match up with our PURPOSE and will bring the most JOY in our lives.

Choices….choices…..and more choices….. to do it our way, right or questionable, or to listen to another’s wisdom and consider a different choice. There are always options, usually several, we just have to be open to what those options are. Let those options filtrate our heart and mind until we make a good choice. One of my grandson’s has this mantra on his ‘rule book’:  ‘STOP. THINK. MAKE A GOOD CHOICE.’ I think we as adults would be wise to remember these three little word statements.

When do you slow down to stop, think and make a different choice?

Dr. Allen Hunt from “21 Undeniable Secrets of Marriage” states: “Our souls become greater or lesser based on the little things we choose each day.”

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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TABLE OF LIFE:

“Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life, and your behavior decides who stays in your life”  (Ziad K. Abdelnour).

As I move quickly to the close of another year of life and embrace the new year, I have been  reflecting on this quote I read a few years ago.  It is so true isn’t it? Timing of meeting people, friends, partners or acquaintances is just that….timing.  Although, I personally believe that you don’t meet anyone by accident. I believe people are placed in our lives for a PURPOSE….maybe we will or maybe we won’t ever really know that PURPOSE while here on earth. That part is mostly  irrelevant.

After we meet people, yes, the heart does help you decide who will sit at the table of your life. We ask ourselves: How do I feel about who this person is and how they present themselves? What is our connection? Is this person a POSITIVE in my life? Are we complimentary to each other as friends, partners or acquaintances?

Life goes on with our chosen people in life, but our behavior shapes the relationships. Behavior eventually determines who remains at our table of life. Over and over again, I find this to be true.  If someone’s behavior is less than kind, selfish in nature, with undermining PURPOSE, we would do well to rethink if this person should remain in our lives. Certainly, if someone’s behavior is hurting us emotionally or physically, then we must detach and say good-bye, no matter what the immediate cost may be. The long-term benefit will be greater JOY in our lives and a much more enjoyable meal.

These ideas I share today certainly are not necessarily easy to do, but worth a good long thought. May we carefully invite those to our table of life to serve the common good of all.

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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THE CHANGING OF COLORS!

Here we are already a few days into the official start of the fall season……it is my favorite! It’s filled with bursts of color, crisp leaves on your walks, and light jackets packed on travels.

For me, it is all connected with the start of a new school year and new beginnings. It signals seasonal changes in decorating, cooking, fashion, gardening,  and planning for family birthdays and holiday celebrations. I feel a sense of excitement as a school year starts with wonderment at how each of the kids will change with their new learning this year. A favorite fall school thing is always the Book Fair. In this chapter of my life, each of my grandkids gets a special book from their list from me.

It is with a sense of nostalgia remembering the family wiener roasts we had as kids and young adults. Pumpkin carving was my dad’s thing at these get togethers. Hay rides  were romantic as a young married girl, tailgating at football games when I became ‘legal’, and always the raking and more raking of colored leaves wherever I lived it seems.

Even though all the flowers have just about finished blooming, there is anticipation for the spring flowers that will pop up from new bulbs I plant every fall. Each year I find myself thinking “oh yea, I did plant that.” I tend to forget from fall to spring EXACTLY what species and colors I planted.

Here are some more fun ideas for your fall:

Bake a fresh apple pie with apples you picked

Visit an amazing pumpkin farm and pick your own pumpkins and gourds

Make a homemade squash or pumpkin soup

Do a Murder Mystery dinner with your partner or a friend

Watch an old tried and true scary Halloween movie

Tour a winery

Dig out your old thread bare jeans and favorite sweater for a chilly morning as you lounge and read a book.

John Greenleaf Whittier says: “The tints of autumn…….a mighty flower garden blossoming under the spell of the enchanter, frost.”

Pick one or two things to do this fall that are new and bring you JOY. Repeat and add to your fall list next season!

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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Today is today! It is what it is: good, bad, or indifferent. Sun, rain or clouds!

You are supposed to be where you are, doing what you do, and growing in the way that is right for you today. Whether you have chosen to be happy, sad, angry, kind, generous, JOYous or forgiving, that is what is on the menu for today. The day didn’t just happen and turn out this way by accident! No, it was set in motion by previous happenings, all of which you were a part of. We make our choices and they all have consequences. Usually, we have some idea of what the consequence options will be when we make that choice. It is still a choice.

Tomorrow can be anything you want it to be. You choose. Have a PURPOSE and go for it!! It is all up to you! May it be a POSITIVE day filled with JOY and a fulfilling PURPOSE.

“The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.” (-H. Jackson Brown, Jr.)

How do you want tomorrow to be?

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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Friendships……….

Sunday at our Mass, the priest gave a great homily on friendship. He talked about the three main friendship types, which triggered reflection for me on the friendships I have made over the years. I will talk about his three categories for friends. (Thank you Father Patrick).

The lowest level of friendship is one of utility. In other words, you are more than aquiantances you say hi to in the grocery store, but you aren’t close friends. You are friends because you individually  have a commodity that serves the other. For example, one of you may have good tickets to a favorite sport game and the other may have a couple of unused concert tickets. So, from time to time, you go to these events together, but there is no real sharing of lives.

The second level is pleasure friendship. This friendship is filled with pleasurable activities that you do together on a regular basis, such as golfing, fishing, hunting, shopping etc. You both derive great pleasure from doing these activities together, but this is what drives the bond. However, when this friendship is not nurtured on a continual basis, it can easily slip back to the level of utility friendship.

The highest level of friendship is full of fun and pleasure you experience together, but also much more. The bond is one built on trust, confidentiality, respect, generosity,   and a real investment in each other’s lives. This friendship is one that will bolster your PURPOSE on this journey, comfort you in your sorrows, and celebrate your JOYS!

It is never about the number of friends in your life, but rather it is about the type of friends. Most likely, we all have a few utility friends and a few more pleasure friends. The goal I believe is to have a few true friends that fall in the highest category, ones who will be there from the beginning to the end and to say “yes, my life was definitely enhanced with this person in my life”.

One of my favorite quotes is from William Shakespeare: “A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.”

How do you define your friendships?

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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WE I.D.!!   Do we?

I. D.  …..can refer to an ID card or document that verifies we are who we say we are, user ID’s  for our personal technology devices, the ID number of a vehicle etc. Literally, it means identity.

We all have various types of identities: work, family, emotional, spiritual, community…… just to name a few. Perhaps, the most important identity we have is our authentic identity. That core of self that does not wear a mask; that self that is beneath our darkest fears; that raw emotion that is buried deep in our heart. Thus, the authenticity of our deepest being. Sometimes, it takes a lifetime to find our true identity, the type that is really authentic; and a lifetime plus to allow our true identity to bubble up to the surface of our daily lives. There are hurts, pains, wounds, traumas and life experiences, as well as the people in our lives that shape our identity. Sorting it all out can be a daunting task that will evolve during our journey.

I.D……yes, we must work at finding our true identity; the one that shapes our PURPOSE and brings us the greatest JOY in our lives.

WE need to I.D. …….every day, every week, every month, always. How can you I.D. Today?

Maya Angelou says it well: “We have to confront ourselves. Do we like what we see in the mirror? And, according to our light, according to our understanding, according to our courage, we will have to say yea or nay——and rise!”

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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Waking up this morning, bright-eyed and ready to go, not wanting to lose a day of sunshine and warm weather, I pondered various options of how to spend my time with PURPOSE today…… hike, paint in my studio with windows wide open, finish running the errands or a relaxing spa day. HMMMM??

Morning tea and a hot shower helped my discernment process…….Hike won!! My PURPOSE and intention for this hike along a lake is to regenerate energy and drink in the wonderful oxygen from the trees. Nothing more, nothing less.

Time is an interesting phenomena. I know I am sometimes guilty of forgetting about just how precious each and every second in a day is. Prioritizing time in our day is paramount. Time to be productive; time to be reflective; time to be relaxed. These times should equal JOY during our day and a sense of peace and calm at the end when we close our eyes to await yet another day filled with options for our time.

Matthew Kelly, Dynamic Catholic, in his book Mustard Seeds, says: “Time is a precious gift. It is so precious that God dispenses it to you one second at a time. Don’t waste time.”

What will you do with your time today?

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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“Just as Jell-O takes the form of the container it is surrounded by, so too are we shaped by what we are surrounded by”, taken from Nine Words, Dr. Allen Hunt.  

Jello is a simple liquid that has to be held by its container until it is strong enough, solid, to stand on its own.  Whatever the shape of the container will be the shape of the solid Jello. Magic right? Well, it takes just the right temperature to let it form a solid and too much water will totally ruin it….it will never get solid.

So it is with a ‘Jello’ analogy of life. When we surround ourselves with uplifting people, POSITIVE thoughts, and develop good intentional habits with firm PURPOSE , (the right container), we have created an environment that sets the stage for a successful and fulfilling life (solid firm Jello). That does not mean that it will always be easy, or that there won’t be times of turmoil that we have to untangle ourselves from (maybe we added too much water) . There are no guarantees about that; however, how we set up our environment and with whom will definitely influence the outcomes (the shape of the jello). And keep in mind, that jello can be made in many different shaped containers and comes in a variety of flavors! That keeps it interesting for sure.

It goes without saying that the firmer our foundation (the container), the greater the opportunity for amazing possibilities in our life (Jello outcomes)!

Who is in your Jello container?

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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“We never know how high we are

Till we are called to rise;

And then, if we are true to plan, our statures touch the skies”—— Emily Dickinson.

This quote is from the initial page of a novel I just finished reading, WE ARE CALLED TO RISE, by Laura McBride. It is an amazing, well written book, a page turner, that brings three lives together, which are inextricably interwoven. The struggling middle age woman trying to figure out her life after losing a daughter to illness, a husband to betrayal, and a son mentally to the horrors of war; a wounded war veteran who suffers from two horrible events during his deployment that forever change his life; and an Albanian immigrant family whose lives are tragically shaken by the events on a fine sunny day in Las Vegas. These three lives will intersect and each will have to rise to new heights to understand the pieces and put them together. This story, although a work of fiction, will refresh your belief in the goodness and kindness of mankind……the working together for the good of all.

In our own lives, we often do not know how we will be called to rise, for whom or when. Few of us will escape that part of life and will be called to do just this, probably more than once. We can and we will pull ourselves up,  go the extra mile for someone,  make our world a better place, and do the right thing. I think the old saying was “always rise to the occasion”. As I reflect on my own such moments, I know that some could have been done better and others were just right for the moment in time.

Are you ready, prepared and set to meet a challenge that will call you to rise?