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PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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HELLO SNOW, SNOW AND MORE SNOW…….THE CALM:

Just to bring you up to date from the Midwest in case you missed the news……..It is bitterly cold and we have feet, not inches, of snow!!! Schools have been closed twice in the last week and no doubt they will be tomorrow,  due to the deep freeze.

I am not a winter person, but there was a certain beauty and magic as the snow lightly fell yesterday and I was trouncing through the snow with two of my grandkids to get to the top of a little hill so they could sled down it. I stood up at the top of the hill, looked up, took a couple of deep breaths, let the snow fall on my face and held my arms out to the universe. It was an awesome experience. It somehow felt calming and that all was right in my corner of the world.

Here are some other ideas for creating CALM in the middle of a storm.

  • Try to keep your perspective and think POSITIVE because this too shall pass
  • Give your self a time to step back and reflect or a 5 minute meditation
  • Think about only the things you CAN control; let go of what is out of your control
  • Keep the parts of your daily routine that will work during the storm; let go of the routines that are overwhelming or simply will not work
  • Don’t try to multitask in this storm; just do the necessary and get through it
  • Last, but certainly not least, give yourself a break; go easy on your expectations of yourself and those around you until things settle down
  • Be patient with yourself, breathe deeply and smile

“This too shall pass”  an adage to remind us that this storm is temporary.

What is your way of finding calm?

 

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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WELCOME 2019!

A new month  and 365 new days (actually 360 since it is January 5) to create our legacy for 2019. What will it be? How will we accomplish it? How will we spend these 360 days? The new year is a new book, with many new chapters, some chapters revisited, and it has 360 blank pages to write your own story. How will it read?

To start the conversation, I will share what our parish priest talked about last week: wishes versus resolutions.  Our wishes are repeated musings about what we would like to have or be. Whereas, resolutions are things that get beyond the wish level because we commit to ‘do’ in order to create and accomplish. We committ…that is the key.

In my reading, I found that several writers aspire to the idea that rather than making resolutions, you chose one word that is your focus for the year. A second idea was to write one thank you note to someone each week of the year, building a habit of gratitude. Another idea was to write on a small piece of paper the date and one thing that you enjoyed that day. Put them in a jar and on New Year’s Eve of 2019 read them, one by one, savoring all the JOY that you experienced in the year. (I love this idea and am doing it).

Another author, one of my favorites Matthew Kelly of Dynamic Catholic, wrote about our ability to reflect, reminisce and perhaps have regrets about the past, but in the past space you cannot HOPE. It is not available! It is in our future, in our heart, that HOPE lives. I guess that is what resolutions or one word mantras for the year are all about…..yes HOPE that new beginnings in different areas of our lives will come our way. Without HOPE, we will remain stuck in the past, unable to dream, commit and do the future.

“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all”  wrote Emily Dickinson.

What is your HOPE for 2019 and what are the steps you will take to make it real?

 

PJP

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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REFLECTIONS:

Today brings us within two days of closing out one year and looking forward to the next…2019!

As I spend some time today reflecting on this year, I am grateful, blessed, saddened, happy and filled with JOY all at the same time. Our lives can never be continually just one of the above emotions; it is always a mixed bag because that is LIFE! Someone once told me that if we were constantly, each minute of each day, in a high state of JOY/HAPPINESS that our physical beings would not humanly be able to manage that flood of emotion day after day. We would break under the weight of the emotion. When I think of those types of moments, I know that is true. Our lives have to be balanced with mixed emotions, as it is balanced with the good and not so good experiences we find on our journey.

So, my final note for 2018 is to look at the little star to the left of the church. It says BELIEVE. That is what keeps us going through the thick and the thin of life and the emotional ups and downs. We just keep on believing….in ourselves, our family, our friends, and most of all in the Lord who provides us with everything!

This year will close soon. May you renew your BELIEVE button in your heart and step into 2019 with PURPOSE, JOY and POSITIVES!

PJP

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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MERRY CHRISTMAS: HALLELUJAH

The word hallelujah means “God be praised in worship”. As we prepare in the last few hours before Christmas morning dawns, let us take a few minutes from our schedules and countdown of final touches  to reflect on the reason we have this day of celebration with family and friends who gather with us to share a meal , our gifts, joy, laughter, and the making of memories.

One of the most meaningful pictures I saw on social media during this season was the picture of a huge Santa with his hat off, bended on one knee, head down facing the manager where the Baby Jesus lay. The caption was something to the effect of let us not forget the real meaning/reason for Christmas.

I realize that some of you who read this blog today may not have much celebration to look forward to during this season; some may have experienced serious illness, new diagnosis that are scary; some may not have enough money to buy gifts or perhaps even to  purchases enough food for breakfast let alone dinner; some may have not been able to find work and struggle to support their family; some may be experiencing the loss of a loved one and being alone; and some may be in the chains of addiction to one thing or another. For all of these sad challenges, I will add you to my prayers whoever and wherever you are. The message to you though is that Jesus was born for ALL of us; He is there in the quiet of your worry, concerns and struggles. He will never leave any of us for any reason. Our hearts just have to be still and listen for His comforting whisper.

In my own family, we are experiencing several of the things I have talked about in the above paragraph. Yet,  we hold each other dear; we console each other;  pray for healings; and trust that God will see us through to the other side.

JOHN 3:16: “FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONE AND ONLY SON, THAT WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM SHALL NOT PERISH BUT HAVE ETERNAL LIFE”.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND BLESSINGS OF PEACE AND JOY TO EACH OF YOU! 

PJP

 

 

 

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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Busy! Busy! Busy!

It is that time of year that we find ourselves either in chaos or bordering denial that the holidays are less than a week away. How did we get here? Most likely it is because we have scheduled and over scheduled ourselves with commitments and the ‘to do list’.

One of nicest things I did for myself this holiday season was to NOT make a ‘to do list’ and to reduce my purchasing to a reasonable level (rather than 6 gifts for each grandchild, I did a special 3 for each),  and I shared with my family that I wanted this Christmas Season to be about family experiences rather than ‘how much can we could get done to get ready’.

As you can see from the picture, I am enjoying a cup of tea at a holiday high tea with my family. Last weekend, we all went out to dinner by the lake and on a Santa Cruise, complete with Santa reading the names of all the ‘nice kids on the list’ at the end.  We have had fires after dinner and the reading of Christmas stories to the kids several nights. The Nutcracker was also a ‘want to see’, but the timing was off for our family…..next year for sure. Last but not least, I have spent quality time taking each set of the grandkids, older and younger, out for dinner with just me.

It feels different this year, but quite good. I am pleased with my choices and will definitely continue this tradition of experiencing rather than doing during the Holiday Season.

“Christmas isn’t just a day, it’s a frame of mind”  from Valentine Davies, Miracle on 34th Street.

PJP

 

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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The ‘season of giving’ is here as we move toward the Christmas festivities. Of course, we all enjoy getting gifts, and not just at Christmas. However, CHARITY does not always need to come in the form of tangible gifts. I believe that one of the greatest gifts of CHARITY is that of our time. Time is precious and there are only so many moments in our lives! Life keeps us all pretty busy, so time becomes a precious commodity.  Sometimes, it can be difficult to allot time for other’s really in need of assistance.

So, in keeping with the season of giving, I offer some suggestions about how we might give of our time…….making a sacrifice for those, who perhaps just a few minutes from us, can make a significant difference for them.

We could offer some of our time:

  • To those in a nursing home who have no one to visit with them, or to read a special story of the season for their pleasure.
  • To those we work with who might need childcare so they can finish their ‘Santa’ shopping.
  • To those in hospice who could use a cheery greeting or a song of the season.
  • To those in our family who may be in need of our time to cook them a great meal that includes some old family recipes they haven’t had in a long time.
  • To those who are our partners/spouses who could benefit from our time, giving special attention that has gotten lost in the relationship due to busy schedules, like a date night or their special home cooked meal.
  • To those of our friends or family members who have lost loved ones and would appreciate our time of a handwritten note expressing our care and concern for them.
  • To those who have no transportation to doctor’s appointments, our gift of time to take them to the appointment and see that they return home.
  • To any one who is in need of our time of a listening ear to show that we care and we understand.

 

“Time is non-refundable, use it with intention”. (I have heard this many times but it is always listed as anonymous) .

To whom  in your life will you give the charity of time this season?

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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PREPARING AND WAITING:

Today marks the first week of Advent for Christians and the Jewish Holiday Hanukkah starts tomorrow. During Advent, we prepare and wait for the coming of  Jesus on  Christmas Day.

For all important events in our lives, or those that we think are important, we plan, we create, we strategize, and prepare so that everything is relatively  perfect!

So, let us begin our time of preparation with thoughtfulness about how to make this period of waiting for Christmas meaningful, peaceful, and filled with JOY!

One way to think about preparing is to think about creating new traditions with our families or friends. My new tradition is reading a Christmas short story to my grandkids each day. I found a wonderful book on Amazon, 24  Christmas Stories to Welcome Jesus, various authors are the contributors. We are all enjoying this new tradition.

How will you prepare?

 

 

 

 

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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THANKSGIVING AND SEEING……

A couple of weeks ago the homily at our Mass was about ‘seeing’, really seeing others in our life. We often take those in our life for granted and fail to ‘really see’. It is so easy to overlook the myriad of things that our partner/spouse or family member does that  do not even come up on our radar because we are so busy watching for the things they do not do, according to our expectations.

That is the operative word I think….expectations! It certainly is important  to have realistic expectations of those in our lives,  for that is how they can be accountable to themselves and to us. Vice -versa, if we have unrealistic expectations of the important people in our lives, we will constantly be disappointed and fail to ‘see’ their good, setting ourselves up for a less than JOYful life.

As we celebrate this special day of giving thanks for family, friends,  and the many blessings bestowed upon us, let us take a moment to ‘see’ at a deeper level……to see the good in someone’s heart that perhaps we have overlooked; to see the value of those we may have neglected because we were too busy; to see the ways our friends support us, both in big and small matters, and to see ourselves and act accordingly in the true light of who we were made to be.

Wishing you Blessings and the gift of seeing.

 

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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SOOTHING CHOCOLATE!

Even at  8:00 in the morning, chocolate can pull me into its web! I LOVE CHOCOLATE!

At the end of my life, I am sure I won’t be saying “Oh, I should have eaten more chocolate”.  There will be other regrets I am sure because it is part of life….opportunities missed,  a little time wasted here and there, perhaps a friendship that has receded, activities or events that you were afraid to engage in, or perhaps lost moments with dear family members. Even though at the time, we may think we have good reason not to partake of a particular activity.

Perhaps, the goal is to start now, wherever you are in your life journey to ferret out what you really don’t want to miss and include those things that you ‘think’ you could or would never do. It isn’t about how all encompassing the item is, rather, it is about your heart to heart with yourself about wanting to be a part of it and why. What pulls you toward it? How will you feel once you have checked it off the conscious brain? Maybe, just maybe, you will want to engage in the activity again. Better yet, maybe it will open a new path on your journey. What have you got to lose? I say: nothing to lose and everything to gain.

“We do not get unlimited chances to have the things we want. Nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed our life”  quote from Marina Boteva: Marina’s Books.

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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FORGIVENESS:

Why should we forgive? Forgiveness is more about you than the other person. It is a conscious decision one makes to ‘let go of hurt’ and move on, but not necessarily forget (this depends on the severity of the action taken against you). Some studies have found that those who forgive “had less anger, less stress, less rumination and lowered reactivity in comparison to those who held onto their anger and pain” . Harris, A. H., Luskin, F.M., Benisovich, S.V., Standard, S., & Thoresen, C. (2001). Effects of Group Forgiveness Intervention on Perceived Stress, State and Trait, Anger, Symptoms of Stress, Self-Reported Health and Forgiveness. Journal of Clinical Psychology 62 (6), 715-733.

Forgiveness does not always involve an outward action toward the one who hurt you; sometimes the other person in the event is no longer here or is not accessible.  Rather, forgiveness might include a heartfelt conversation with yourself about your feelings of resentment/anger, a reflection on the specific experience, a willingness to mentally forgive the person and then sticking with that forgiveness and not slipping back into the hurt. This is not easy to do, especially for the big things that really wound us to the core. True forgiveness may take several attempts for the steps to be effective. Patience is a virtue in this instance for sure.

I think Dr. Allen Hunt, a nationally known author and speaker, says it quite well. “Forgiveness produces healing and a path forward. The key to forgiveness opens the door to a new future”, from his book Everybody Needs to Forgive Somebody.

Who do you need to forgive? Can you take a step forward today in the process so that you can begin the healing process?