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PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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RESILIENCE !

Just as the bulbs in the ground all winter must remain hardy  in order to produce the beautiful spring flowers, we too are often called upon to draw from our inner strength and courage. I think one of the cutest sayings I heard many years ago relating to this was “Just pull up your big girl pants and deal with it”.

It could be said that resilience is a characteristic that one must develop in order to survive and thrive! It starts with loving your imperfect self. There will be things that don’t turn out as well as we would like, but we accept, we learn and we move on. It is also helpful to have a good support team in place to assist in our journey through the tough times. Life is going to happen and things can fall apart…….probably more than once. The important factor is to hang right in there, grab the challenge, and never give up!!

Go for it!

What part of your life could you draw on resilience?

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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via Daily Prompt: Song

 

“Sing to the mountains, sing to the sea. Raise  your voices, lift your hearts. This is the day the Lord has made. Let all the earth rejoice.” This is the chorus of a famous Christian song by Bob Dufford and it was the first thing that came into my mind as I saw the daily word prompt of SONG. I have not used the prompts before in my blogging, but this one seemed especially meaningful for me.  Music is a wonderful form of art for me that calms my mind and fills my heart with tenderness.

Deane Alban in her article “How Music Affects the Brain”  reports that music activates every known part of the brain, can improve your mood, and can reduce chronic stress due to a reduction of the stress hormone cortisol.  There is an actual area of research, neuromusicology, that although is fairly new, has interesting information about how listening and/or playing music can affect our brains.

As a kid I played the accordion and the organ. I  still have my accordion that my father bought when he sold a pig to get the money for the purchase (true  story).  I will never let it go out of the family. Probably, my favorite song was “Lady of Spain”, only because I had to practice it a gazillion times a day for a contest I competed in as an Eighth Grader. Whew….I bet my Mom wished she had a sound proof door to the kitchen many times!

Does music have a place in your life? How does it make you feel?

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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AWE!

There are so many things in life that can inspire moments of AWE. They usually happen unexpectedly, but sometimes we have to look for them.  I had that sensation when I captured this sunset a couple of weeks ago, and wouldn’t you know when I picked up the mail,  a new magazine  was waiting for me which had a great article, ” 7 Pathways to AWE”, by Patricia M. Robertson (St. Anthony Messenger). 

Ms. Robertson talks about AWE as added value to our life that can provide greater happiness, kindness and possibly even reduce negatives in our bodies. Here is what she recommends  about heightening our awareness of ‘wonder and amazement’.  I have added a few thoughts on the areas, but the topics come from her.

The first one is to go outside and take in nature…..and leave the technology inside. Rocking a baby and looking into those tender eyes, untouched by the world, is amazing. Being a part of a community as people, friend or stranger, is  a source of wonder and when we are open to them, we can experience moments of kindness in little things. She also suggests that experiencing the arts, however that may manifest itself for each of us, can be filled with moments of wonder and inspiration. Remember reading a touching book and your eyes filling with tears? The next idea is to create something, which I relate to with my watercolor painting. Her final two suggestions are to meditate/pray and to go to church. Meditation/prayer can be a special way of experiencing deep moments of enlightenment, calm, and the Presence of the Spirit to deepen our roots and guide us to seeing the world with AWE.

Albert Einstein said “He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed”.

When have you experienced awe? Where can you look for those moments?

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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RAINBOWS!

Easter Sunday I was sitting outside and happened to look up because dark clouds had moved in. There in my direct view over the houses was a beautiful rainbow! A rainbow is comprised of 7 colors in this order: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. This also happens to be the same color order as the Chakras.

As a kid, I remember seeing rainbows across our farm fields and Dad telling us there was a ‘pot of gold’ and the land of leprechauns  at the end of rainbow. It seemed magical that this could even be true! To see if something was at the end of the rainbow would be a celebration of fulfillment. Dreamers we were!

Perhaps an adult version of the rainbow ‘story’ is that it symbolizes HOPE, if we follow our hearts, believe in our dreams, keep reaching forward, moving away from the past, and living in the present. It is always inspiring for me when I see a rainbow as it makes me smile and think happy, calming thoughts that all is well with life and good things will come to pass. The unexpected is just ‘over there’, waiting for me to step up, reach out and grab it! “Hope springs eternal” (phrase from Alexander Pope’s poem An Essay on Man).

“It takes sunshine and rain to make a rainbow. There would be no rainbows without sunshine and rain”  (Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart). So like life: there will be glorious sunshine but we should expect some rain, sometimes light or sometimes a raging rain storm. And then once again, the sunshine appears.

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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FORGIVENESS and HEALING:

This week I attended a parish evening retreat at our church presented by Father Michael P. Sullivan from Villanova, PA. The topic for the night was forgiveness and healing. It seems an appropriate sharing subject, given that we will begin Holy Week with Palm Sunday this weekend.

There is probably no one that can honestly say that they have never been hurt or hurt someone. Perhaps, it was intentional or perhaps it was not. Either way, pain and brokenness take up residence in your heart. Sometimes, we bury the aggrievance and sometimes we wallow in it for days, months or years. Depending on the type of action we chose after our hurtful experience, all things may be up for grabs. Friendships, family relationships, work relationships, and/ or partner relationships are affected. Yes, separateness and division are ripe for happening. So, how do we heal our woundedness?

Father Sullivan talks about the process as one of healing through reconciliation and a path of love. He emphasizes the power of the words “will you forgive me” as opposed to “I’m sorry”.  He shares that as a part of this work, actively taking the risk to love can heal not only our heart, but also our mind and body. We ‘right’ the relationship. Just as important is the idea that we need to forgive ourselves for our failings in life. I think this is always the harder aspect when it comes to forgiving. It  takes time and a deep thought process to get to this place. Thank you Father Sullivan for your inspirational talk!

It is also important to understand that forgiving does not necessarily mean forgetting. They are two different entities and the outcomes are not the same. Somethings, yes, we need to just let it go and forget about it. However, for other things, it is important for us to learn from the experience and not put ourselves in the same situation again. It takes a lot of energy  to hold on to hurts; energy that could be better spent doing things that bring us greater JOY in our lives. It is a process which takes time and patience with ourselves and others.

“If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive” Mother Theresa.

Is there someone in your life that you need to forgive?

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, ACTIONS!

Recently, I listened to an interview with Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell, psychologist and author. The general topic was about changing your behavior by recognizing feelings, changing your thoughts about those feelings and then altering your behavior. The technical term for this is Cognitive Behavorial Therapy or CBT. It was not a new concept for me, but I felt that it was worth sharing on this blog.

We have feelings about everything! There is nothing inherently wrong with our feelings. They ARE our feelings and we should own them.  The next step of how we interpret those feelings is the crucial aspect that results in POSITIVE or negative behaviors on our part. However, we have the opportunity every time we have a negative thought from some feeling we experience to ‘think’ differently about what the feeling means, which in turn changes our actions.

For example, let’s say that I have just experienced the loss of a job that was not expected. My feelings about this can range from anger and resentment to resignation….’well, that is how it goes’. Interpretation of these feelings can leave  me in a thought state of depression and  thinking I am not a good worker, not caring what I do or don’t do on a daily basis. This negative thought pattern may lead  to actions of sleeping very late, not taking care of my health and making unhealthy eating/drinking choices, skipping appointments with friends or family and procrastination in job searching…… feelings, thought patterns and action choices.

The feelings are natural and appropriate, but it is how we interpret them that fuels negative or POSITIVE behaviors. Let’s take the same example: accept the feelings but interpret the experience and subsequent feelings  not as inadequacy on my part, rather as an opportunity for growth, new learning channels, and an experience that can lead to added friendships and hopefully financial gain. These thoughts will energize the situation to include actions of dressing myself up, getting out there, networking, interviewing and landing ‘the’ job. The healthier thought pattern, resulting from those same feelings, has opened a new pathway for POSITIVE action producing a quite different life experience.

Accept the feelings ~ use a POSITIVE thought mantra ~ create POSITIVE actions. This can be applied to any feeling around any given situation.

“Take charge of your thoughts. Take charge of your life”  quoted from Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell.

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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UPROOTED!!

Life is like that isn’t it? Things are going along smoothly or relatively smoothly, and then WHAM, everything changes! I know that I personally have been through quite a few ‘uprootings’ in my life. Some unexpected and some had been coming for awhile. The ultimate thing here is that even our ‘uprootings’ are the result of our own choices. There you have it….our choices.

But look carefully at the picture and what do you see behind and beside all that mass of roots that were pulled right out of the ground? Yes, beautiful, colorful, flowers, green bushes, and even in front of the roots, there is a little bit of new green growth. At some juncture of the chaos, new beginnings are going to evolve…..  unexpected  opportunities for growth and POSITIVES to move us back to JOYful living. It often takes patience and great hope, but it will happen and the ebb and flow of life will continue. That’s just how it works!

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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This sign is taped up on the secretary’s desk at the school where I volunteer, so I am not sure who to give the credit to for the display. But I like it and it certainly rings true.

Words of affirmation are so important, no matter what our age or status in life.  Too often though, we are quick to judge and out of our mouths come negative words/phrases. Sharply or innocently said, those are the words that will be remembered….even if we try to cover up our blunder with ….’oh, sorry, I didn’t really mean that’. Words, once said, can never be taken back. They don’t just get recalled or cancelled out. The delete button is nonfunctional!  No, they can live forever in our listener’s mind and be quite hurtful. The old adage of ‘think before you speak’ is not outdated. Asking oneself if it really needs to be said is a cautionary rule of thumb!

At the end of our day, no matter what our trials have been, it is important that our words to others have been kind and appropriate, rather than short or offhanded remarks. Sometimes, our words can make or break another’s day; we just have to stop and think: how would I feel if someone said___________to me? Do I really need to say this? What is to be gained by my words? Am I just venting to make myself feel better or one up the other?

POSITIVE, affirming words can go a long way in making our day more JOYful and uplifting.  Mother Theresa said: “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

 

 

 

 

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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I saw this quote not too long ago, and then this morning it popped up again. “If you want to see what you really value and prioritize in your life, look at how you spend your time”  (Jon Leonetti, Mission of the Family).  Today, of all days, it really made me think as tomorrow is not only Valentine’s Day, but it is also the beginning of the Lenten Season.

Life is so busy for all of us, and has no promise of slowing down of its own accord. If I get something scheduled on the calendar, then it usually happens. Not written down……probably it will get lost in the shuffle of other things. If I write it, then I am committed!! But what about all those other things that take time and are not on the calendar? Are they priorities too?

While I do know that things like cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking and the never ending errands do have to get done, lately it seems I spend too much time on these tasks and not enough on the things I treasure doing. So, my new idea is to time order these tasks and allow at least one hour for my ‘priorities’ each day. I will have to get back to you on how well that works.

One of my priorities in life truly is my family and close life long friends.  I want to  give love, JOY, caring and special kindnesses each day, not only on Valentine’s Day.  It doesn’t take very long to make that long overdue call, visit a sick person, stop to chat with a neighbor, or sit down and jot a note to someone who could use an extra long distance hug. These are going to be what I prioritize during that hour each day I have re – designated for myself.

Happy Valentine’s Day to each of you and may the JOY of love, care and kindness be with you!

PURPOSE, JOY AND POSITIVES

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“Find something good in each person you meet and help it to grow” (Matthew Kelly, Mustard Seeds).

When we meet someone for the first time, we quickly form an opinion about how the person presents to us. For me, it is the eyes. Looking directly into the eyes, one can see if there is JOY, pain, something concealed, or sadness. I know when I meet someone ‘who smiles with their eyes’ that I will like them and depending on the circumstance, this person might become more than an acquaintance.

Once in a while, there are those people you meet in one situation or another that just ‘rub you the wrong way’, so to speak. This is our opportunity to look for the good in the person, find something POSITIVE. If we are in continued contact with the person, one has an opening to encourage this POSITIVE  in conversation and small acts of kindness. Chose to be that quiet model, perhaps of change for the person. At this point in my life, I have come to understand that you just never ever know how your words, your actions, or your concern and care will impact another’s life. Having said that, it is a valued practice to find the good, champion it and never let an option to move it forward pass by.